Have you heard about the firestorm that Rachel Hollis started on Tik-Tok? Here’s a link to the video if you haven’t seen it.
Rachel Hollis is the author of two books, “Girl, Stop Apologizing” and “Girl, Wash Your Face.” Unfortunately, she’s also known to stir up some controversy and this came to a boiling point on April 2021. Rachel posted a video on Tik-Tok in response to someone calling her “privileged AF” and “unrelatable” because Rachel hires someone to clean her house twice a week.
“No, sis. What makes you think that I want to be relatable?” — Rachel Hollis
Then she proceeded to rant about how waking up at 4am is part of the…
Perfectionism is a by-product of trauma.
I want him to hit me.
I stared at the car behind me through the rearview mirror. There was a man in the driver’s seat, waiting for the light to turn green. I didn’t know this man, but for a moment, I thought to myself, “I want him to crash his car into mine.”
I didn’t want to hurt myself or anyone else. For just a split second, I wanted someone to pick up my perfect little snow globe of a world and shake the shit out of it. For a moment, I was so numb that I just wanted…
An Honest Review of David Liu’s Apex Academy Course
Talk to any Salesforce Administrator and most likely they are not interested in learning Apex. That is part of the draw of jumping into the Salesforce Administrator track; you could become skilled in the technology with “Clicks Not Code.”
Lost in Translation
Even though I liked being a Salesforce Administrator, I tried learning how to code because I thought that I would enjoy it. Learning to code is similar to learning a language; with my mathematics background and love for languages, I thought that coding would be a cinch.
But every time I tried to learn Apex on Trailhead or any other online…
The moment that my perfectionism turned against me
They said if I studied hard then I’ll be successful.
They said if I got a good job then I’ll be successful.
They said if I got an award then I’ll be successful.
They said if I made more money then I’ll be successful.
Perfectionism served me well for years so I didn’t see a reason to stop. It was unhealthy at times, but I believed that it will always produce results.
Won’t it?
The spiral
I was a self-proclaimed strong, independent woman. I didn’t need anybody and I enjoyed the freedom that I built for myself because the freedom allowed me…
Remember the Nigerian Prince email scam? It’s funny now because people know not to fall for it.
It’s taken me a long time to admit this, but I’ve fallen for scams. It’s embarrassing to admit because I felt stupid and gullible. Shouldn’t I know better after being raised by paranoid Asian parents? But my parents taught me how to be wary of slick salespeople and to always read the fine print. They didn’t know how to prepare me for internet scams.
The first time I fell for a scam was in college. Money was tight and after searching through the…
Set your boundaries or someone else will
Why is it so hard to say “no” to someone?
We like being helpful so declining something can feel harsh. But saying “no” is not about being mean or not being a team player, it’s about setting boundaries.
I’m going to share one of the most valuable lessons you’ll ever learn: you can’t control how others feel. If someone is upset because you can’t do something that they want, then that is their problem, not yours. This doesn’t give you a license to be a jerk. There is a middle ground between being selfish and draining yourself for others.
Here…
Needing to be in control isn’t about power — it’s about safety
One of the side effects of being a perfectionist is the craving for control. After all, your perfectionist tendencies are what helped you achieve what society views as “success.”
There are multiple reasons for wanting to be in control, but for a perfectionist, there are two primary reasons:
- You feel like parts of your life are out of control.
- You don’t feel safe.
Control winds you up so tightly that it won’t be long until you snap. The reality is that we don’t have control over anything, except our thoughts and our actions. …
Because 2020 has been a hell of a year
In a recent episode of “The Michelle Obama Podcast,” the First Lady talked about how we’re spending a lot more time alone than what we are used to. Not only are we stuck indoors, but we’re also stuck in our own heads which can be maddening after an extended period of time.
“I know that I am dealing with some form of low-grade depression.” -Michelle Obama
Feeling this way is normal, but during the year of COVID-19, these are not normal times. The usual coping mechanisms are unhealthy distractions or temporary reprieves, but after months of quarantine and one crisis…
What are we actually trying to achieve?
Go-getters, grinders, hustlers.
Our society celebrates them. We applaud them and aspire to be like them. The ones who work more than 40 hours a week, rarely take a vacation, and neglect their own health and even relationships.
But why?
How often do we stop and ask ourselves why we’re in the hustle?
What’s the end game? To make more money? To be ‘Employee of the Month’? To gain thousands of followers?
The real question is: when is it enough?
The problem with hustle culture is getting lost in the hustle. The well-intentioned motivation turns into an addiction to the…
“Perfection is the enemy of the good.”
I stood in front of my boss’s office, trying to sum up the courage to knock on her door. I was going to inform her that I was quitting a job that I loved. Once I stepped through that door, I would change the trajectory of my life.
I don’t remember how I started the conversation, but I remember her reaction: “What happened? Are you sick??”
Surprised by her answer, I laughed. The only rational explanations for my decision to quit must be a health problem or pure insanity because I was at the peak of my teaching career.
But…
Ms. Lee
Social Impact Entrepreneur. Recovering Perfectionist. World Traveler. Dismantling hustle culture at heymslee.com
